Happy Saturday to Everyone...or if it's you're reading this later, then Happy Whatever Day it Is Where You Are, to you.
Before I start, let me just say that I celebrate Christmas and recognize that it's an important holiday to many. And no, I'm not going the direction of "Happy Holidays" vs "Merry Christmas" with this blog. Instead I'm writing this because I think that for many of us the Christmas season is not exactly "the most wonderful time of the year."
Forgive me for being cynical, but I think that advertisers and retailers are the ones who promote the current concepts of how the Holiday spirit SHOULD look. For many that picture doesn't fit with their real lives. And that "failure" to fit causes debt, depression, and in some cases worse.
I have a very good friend who says that watching holiday specials is just too hard because her life doesn't match what is being shown. I completely get that. We are told (through songs, cards, and commercials) that holidays are about time with large extended families with lots of gifts around a stylish tree and a elaborately prepared meal. Everyone is dressed perfectly (the little girls all have ribbons in their tidy curls), happy, relaxed, and care-free. Is that how YOUR Christmas looks? Or feels?
When I was a child we spent Christmas Eve with my paternal grandparents. My dad was one of four children, each of whom had at least three children of their own. So there were lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins crowded into such a small house that we had to eat in shifts because there was no room for everyone to sit at once. Christmas Day was spent with my mother's side of the family. Again aunts, uncles, and cousins were an important part of the tradition. I loved it and have many fond memories of those holidays. My sister (who is 13 years older) tells me about how hard it was for Mama and Daddy to provide Christmas for us, how worried they often were about where the money would come from to give us that holiday!
And NOW I am single, childless, and my aunts, uncles and cousins are celebrating with their own families. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day for me are either spent with a small family (my sister and sometimes my nephew) or alone. And that's fine - as long as I avoid comparing myself to those who are still celebrating with large extended families. If you have many friends and relatives gathered around your Christmas table, I am happy for you. But commercials and holiday specials tend to make those of us who aren't celebrating that way feel "good enough" or "normal."
Does Martha Stewart ever do a magazine spread about setting a holiday table for one or two? No, because would I need to buy new dishes, lovely table linens, and carts full of groceries for my holiday gatherings?
Likewise, how often do you see advertisements that encourage you to cut back for Christmas? To focus on spending time helping those less fortunate? To send money to charities who help starving children? To have a debt-free holiday or to start planning for a 2012 that allows you to live more than paycheck-to-paycheck? To use precious sentimental old ornaments on your tree rather than buying whatever new color designers have chosen to be THE trend of the season (only to be replaced next year or the following because the colors change and who would want an out-of-style tree???)
Probably by now we have all seen the facebook picture that has starving children reaching out next to stressed-out looking women with armloads and carts full of expensive toys. The picture is captioned "Define Necessity" and I appreciate the reminder it provides.
So, starting now, I'm committing to not make my holiday happiness about the "necessity" defined by retail analysts but rather about the spirit of sending good wishes to all - even if it those wishes do not involve a trip to the Hallmark store or a wait in the long lines at the U.S. Post Office.
I wish each and everyone of you a PEACE-FILLED HOLIDAY season, however YOU define that!
